Friday, January 15, 2010

Worst Films of 2009

In preparation for my favourite films of 2009 list, which will be in the next few weeks, I thought I would take look at the pictures that annoyed me the most this year.

10) Observe and Report – I liked it better when it was called Taxi Driver. Sadly this is not the only mall related film to make this esteemed list.



9) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – Robot Heaven, jive talking cars, a female terminator…did I mention robot heaven?



8) The Limits of Control – I really love Jarmusch’s other works, which is why this film was such a big disappointment for me.



7) Drag Me To Hell – Look, I enjoy Sam Rami’s horror classics as much as the next guy. Heck, I even went to see the Evil Dead Musical when it came to town. Yet trying to recapture that campy low budget feel through a big budget production just does not work.



6) 12 Rounds – This made Walking Tall look like Shakespeare…Walking Tall!!! Aidan Gillen goes from the sensation series, The Wire, to this? Gillen deserves better, Hollywood.



5) Push – As a comic book, video game, or a television series the premise is great. As a movie, on the other hand, this is an unsalvageable mess. Push way too much stuff into this film.



4) My Bloody Valentine 3D – Thanks, Avatar. Now certain movies will not just be awful…they will be awful in three dimensions.



3) X-Men Origins: Wolverine – X2 was great. X-men: Last Stand was awful. Which one would you assume Hollywood would follow?…yep, they fooled me as well. To prolong the pain even further, Deadpool is getting his own spinoff.



2) Bride Wars – Number 2 by a hair…or bridal tiara. This film was offensive beyond belief and single handedly set feminism back a few centuries…and this is coming for a male. Worst of all, Hathaway goes from being on my best of 2008 list, for Rachel Getting Married, to the worst of 2009 list. Hudson can take solace in the fact that she has now made my worst list two years running.



1) Paul Blart: Mall Cop – What is with Hollywood’s obsession with mall security guards? Is this really the last sect of the population whose stories have yet to be told? It was a close call for the number one spot but Paul came out on top.



Runners-Up: He’s Just Not That Into You, The Box, Race to Witch Mountain, A Christmas Carol 3D

2 comments:

  1. I liked Drag me to Hell! It was hilarious and over the top.

    Observe and Report was a very odd experience. I can't even tell whether it was cringe-worthy horrendous or pleasantly horrendous. Weird movie...

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  2. @Castor – I found Drag Me to Hell tried too hard to get the best of both worlds. It wanted to be campy humor half of the time and serious horror for the other half. The overall tone was so uneven that neither side work well.

    As for Observe and Report, I think the key word that applies to both of your choices is “horrendous”.

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